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New Eden emotional damage archive

BUTT HURT
REPORTS.

For when Local was mean, your ship exploded, the FC said no, or somebody committed the unforgivable crime of disagreeing with you.

VERIFIED BUTT HURT // Reports are moderated only for excessive profanity, personal or sensitive information, and anything unsafe for younger pilots. Salt, criticism, bad spelling, dramatic retellings and questionable tactical conclusions remain part of the evidence.
Previously documented suffering

Recent reports.

These are shortened public summaries. Open any report to inspect the complete complaint exactly as it was filed and approved for publication.

Checking the emotional damage archive...
SEND DUDES // CHOOSE YOUR LEVEL OF BUREAUCRACY

HOW HURT ARE WE?

Pick the form that matches the incident. Both end up in the same moderation queue. One is quick. One assumes historians will eventually study what happened.
SEND DUDES // EMOTIONAL DAMAGE ARCHIVE

BUTT HURT REPORT

STATUS: VERIFIED BUTT HURT
SERIOUS FLAG // The filer marked this as a genuine safety or harassment concern. Treat the comedy around the form separately from the underlying issue.
Claimant
CorporationNot supplied
AllianceNot supplied
Incident timeNot supplied
Incident location
Who / what caused itUnclear. Possibly EVE.
Nature of BUTT HURT
Observed symptoms
Complaint paperwork
Full statement
Salt level 0 / 10
Requested compensation Nothing. The record itself is apparently enough.
SEND DUDES // FORM BHR-01 // EXPRESS LANE

SHORT FAST COMPLAINT

Fast emotional damage processing

No committee. No investigation panel. Just enough information to document the salt and get you back into space.

Use the LONG IMPORTANT COMPLAINT FILE instead if you want leadership follow-up, need to include evidence/context, or the issue is more than ordinary EVE nonsense.
What caused the BUTT HURT?
Current symptoms
Salt level: 5 / 10
SEND DUDES // FORM BHR-02 // UNNECESSARILY THOROUGH EDITION

LONG IMPORTANT COMPLAINT FILE

Please describe the emotional damage with the seriousness it clearly deserves. This form is intentionally ridiculous, but the useful questions are real: what happened, what was lost, what you did, whether anyone tried to fix it, and what outcome would actually help. Nothing becomes public until an admin approves it.

Approximately 30 questions, depending on how much self-awareness survived the incident.
01 // Identify the injured partyPaperwork requires a victim
02 // Establish the scene of the crimeFacts first, salt second
03 // What caused the BUTT HURT?Select all charges that apply
04 // Aggravating circumstancesThe court would like context

These answers do not reduce your right to be salty. They merely help future generations understand how we got here.

05 // Current symptomsClinical diagnosis: EVE Online
Salt level: 5 / 10
Self-awareness: 5 / 10
06 // Evidence and actual consequencesThe real part of the form
What actually happened as a result?
07 // Did anyone try to fix it?Conflict resolution, but with paperwork
Should alliance leadership follow up?
08 // How serious is this really?Important distinction
REAL ISSUE // If this involves threats, doxxing, personal information, harassment, or the safety of a younger player, do not rely on the comedy form alone. Contact alliance leadership directly. The report can still be filed for record keeping, but safety comes before the joke.
If approved, how should this be treated publicly?
09 // What would actually make this better?Besides time travel
10 // Your sworn dramatic statementFor the permanent record